Coffee Review: Five Star Strong Cold Brew

Introduction#

I’ve decided to write a coffee review. I have zero qualification to do so, but the fact that my blood is 75% caffeine helps.

This is going to be the first of a series of reviews on the odd coffee beverages I consume to summon enough energy to get through the workday. The subject of this review is Five Star Strong Vanilla Cold Brew.

I picked this up from my local grocery store this morning, after seeing it around for a while. It’s main selling point seems to be that the proceeds of their business go towards helping veterans of the armed forces, which is definitely a great cause.

Packaging#

The packaging was a major weak point for this one. The can itself is a bog-standard can, but with the design printed on a plastic wrapper rather than onto the can itself. In addition, the design itself is not very attractive. While it fits the patriotic aesthetic of the brand, it isn’t particularly appealing and frankly looks more like a beer can.

Rating: 1/5

Value#

This can cost me $2.99 at my local store, and for that I received a 12 oz can. While this isn’t any spectacular cost to size ratio, it isn’t super pricey for what it is.

Rating: 2/5

Taste#

This has a very traditionally “cold brew” taste. While I’m not the biggest fan of that, I tried not to let it skew my judgment. The taste itself had a fruity characteristic, with only a very light hint of vanilla. This isn’t something I would personally sip slowly. Overall, it’s not to my preference or particularly amazing-tasting, but isn’t horribly astringent or hostile

Rating: 3/5

Caffeination#

“Caffeination Quality” is the characteristics of the actual energy after drinking the beverage. Due to various differences in ingredients this can be vastly different across beverages and can have a major impact on the experience.

This beverage had a very traditional “coffee” energy, with a very quick surge of energy that could be at times overwhelming and jittery. This beverage makes no attempt to soften or supplement it’s caffeine content.

I was not able to find the actual caffeine content of the beverage, as there was no mention of it on the label, and the company itself does not list any canned cold brew products on their website. It seems to be on the slightly stronger end of what you would find in a typical cold brew coffee, as that is really all this is.

Rating: 3/5

Ingredients#

This is a very simple beverage, with a very simple ingredient list. It’s really just cold brew in a can, nothing more and nothing less. This simplicity is a good trait, however that does mean it has no additional ingredients to take the edge off the surge of caffeine brought on by drinking cold brew.

Rating: 3/5

Conclusion#

Overall, this is a very middle of the pack drink, coming in with a rating of 12/25. Five Star Strong Cold Brew’s simplicity is the key thing the beverage has going for it, however that is also where most of it’s weaknesses stem from. This isn’t something I’d consider drinking regularly, but that is partially due to my distaste for cold brew.